Please Help My Friend, Jill, Adopt a Special Needs Baby

I met my friend, Jill, in elementary school.  She says she remembers me teaching her how to multiply in third grade.  I remember how self-assured and happy she always was. 

She came from a big, Southern family with lots of babies and family values and her family lived in The Lawyer's and my neighborhood.  Jill was the second oldest of five girls, and just before they moved out of my town, Jill’s parents decided to adopt a little boy.

This was probably around the time that Jill and I became friends.  She's the one on the far left with her Dad and his daughters, a few years before they adopted Tommy.

I only remember Jill’s brother, Tommy, as a baby, but he grew up in the love of parents who badly wanted him and five older sisters who probably mothered—and tortured!—him more than he could imagine (Kidding, Jill!).

Jill and Tommy at Disney World.

Semi-grown up children, minus oldest daughter.  Jill is far left again.

Many years later, Jill and I reconnected through Facebook, and I’ve kept in touch with her growing family—starting with husband Carson, a paramedic, and babies Carly, Laila, and Rachel.

Jill and I have talked about the desire we both have to adopt someday, and although our reasons are probably very different, they’re ultimately the same.

For me, I’ve mentioned that my family is from St. Vincent in the Caribbean.  I’m not sure I’ve ever told the story of how they got there, though.

My mother’s great-grandparents were the first to emigrate from India, around the turn of the century.  They came to the Caribbean islands under the premise that they were going to work as indentured servants on the sugar cane plantations and then go home (which they obviously didn’t).  Most of the family records, including original last names, where in India they came from, and why they left, were lost.  Most likely, though, they were living under some pretty bad circumstances in India.

Otherwise, I doubt they'd have volunteered to risk their lives on a boat for months to head to an unknown destination to work as someone else’s servants if they were coming from a good, or even moderate, situation.  I’m not sure if I’d volunteer to get on a boat for months now, much less in 1900.

I frequently think about how many strides my family has made in just four generations.  My mother’s grandmother was born on the boat from India to the Caribbean.  Her son, my grandfather, was the first to convert to Christianity.  The woman he married, my grandmother, was very committed to making sure that all of her children—boys and girls—got to go to school, regardless of the cultural norms of the time or the fact that she never did.

My mother was one of the first in her generation to go to college and graduate school.  And, because my grandfather made huge sacrifices to send her to college in the United States, the fourth generation—my sister and I—were born in a country where our gender, family past, and socioeconomic status had very little bearing on what we were able to do with our lives.

If the ancestors who left India could have known that in only four generations, their decisions would result in a future family living in America and working as educated professionals in the upper middle class, I’m pretty sure that it would have blown. their. minds.

When I think about adoption, I think about this.  About how incredibly fortunate I am that every person in my family made the decisions and sacrifices that they did, and that by simply being born in another country, under different financial and cultural circumstances, my life could have been very, very different. 

That’s why I want to adopt.

When I told my sister that I someday want to adopt a little girl from India, she said that she’s always felt the same way.  I just feel like I have the ability to change someone's life by sharing the resources that I have, and I want to do that.

Jill's brother, Tommy, all grown up with baby Rachel.

So, that’s why I totally get Jill’s decision to adopt.  She wrote this post in answer to people asking why she would do this now, after having three healthy, biological girls, and when she and her husband are young, with only a modest income.

This is baby Nicky:

He is an older toddler and has Down's Syndrome.  He is tiny for a little boy his age and has been deteriorating.  To make matters worse, when he turns four, he will be transferred to an adult mental institution.  Here, he won't receive as much care and may deteriorate further.

It's no secret that this adoption is going to be a HUGE challenge for Jill and Carson, but knowing what I do about Jill, this baby is going to come home to a wonderful, warm household with doting parents and adoring sisters. 

Both Jill and Carson's families are also nearby, so there are cousins, grandparents, and lots of family to love on this baby. And, this family knows how to multiply the love.

Jill's Dad probably thinking, "Only two babies?  Come on, people, CHALLENGE ME." :)

Jill's mama, looking exactly the same as when I knew her.

Grandpas are fun!

Make no mistake that this child is going to be loved and well cared for.

I wouldn’t be writing this if I didn’t feel so moved by what Jill is doing.  She’s such a good person, who’s just trying to make a difference for baby Nicky.  So, if you feel moved to, please consider helping her to bring home the newest member of her family by donating here.

Lots of love, prayers, and encouragement to you, Jill and Carson!

(This is Jill’s adoption website.  I especially like this post written by her husband, Carson, on his views on adopting and why they’ve chosen to adopt a special needs baby.)