I swear, internet, that interested men can sense some sort of shift in the universe when a girl on their radar becomes unavailable.
In fact, almost immediately after The Lawyer and I "officially" started dating, the Facebook and email messages started. A friend that I haven't spoken to in years wanted to know if she could set me up with her husband's best friend. Charlie sent a Facebook message, after six months of not communicating, just to say hi. And, Shawn texted to see how things were going.
For all of them, I thanked them for their polite inquiry and told them I was now dating someone. With the exception of my girlfriend, who was thrilled and offered congratulations, the two men didn't respond.
I didn't really expect another response and figured that it is what it is. (Let me tell you, I was not waiting by the phone for Charlie to call again.) Also, since I've chosen not to change my relationship status on Facebook (I don't want Rich's family prowling on my life), there was no way for these poor men to know anyway.
Then, I got a text message tonight.
The guy's name is Harris and he was once the roommate of Mike. Apparently, Mike started dating someone seriously and he told Harris that he should go after me. (This is why you people aren't married, Harris and Mike. JUST SAYING.)
Despite his very polite and persistent text messages and phone calls last fall, though, I wasn't interested. After all, Harris is some stranger who I've never met and for whom, I don't have copious amounts of free time to play friendly. Every time he'd text asking about tickets to the Kennedy Center or dinner or ice skating, I'd say no. But, he just kept on asking.
So, even though I felt like I may have delivered the news that I'm off the market already, I told him again tonight.
His response?
"Yeah, I know. You already told me. I was just trying to be friendly."
Annnd, who suddenly felt like a presumptuous scumbag, who was called out on the fact that she doesn't even pay enough attention to Harris to remember what she's already told him? (In my defense, I have enough things to commit to memory right now, OK!)
However, it should be noted that I'm not friends with Harris, nor have I ever met him, so why would I interpret his text message as anything but suggestive? Also, it's not like his counterparts (I'm looking at you, Mike and Charlie) did him any favors.
11 comments:
The universe has a weird sense of humor, I think. A weird, ironic, slap-you-in-your-face type of humor... or at least that is how my experience has been.
I don't see what you did wrongly there (but then, I'm single and have been for, well, ever)-if someone you don't really know keeps asking you to do things, it's questionable. I mean, honestly, he could have just said once, "bring the BF!".
But, as my sister and mother remind me constantly-I'm single. ;)
MS2- Yes, usually.
Dolce- The Lawyer was out running errands when the texting happened, so when he got home, I showed him the text and gave him the storyline. He said that, from a guy's perspective, it was definitely suggestive and from anyone's perspective, it was just weird that some guy that I don't know is still texting me "just to say hi."
I almost had trouble following the storyline here, there were so many characters!
No guy who you've never met is going to contact you to just be friends.
My vote is that he was fishing to see how seriously 'out of the market' you are; and then covering up his embarrassment.
Penelope- You are so right about the number of characters! As I was writing this, I was thinking, "Good heavens, there were a lot of people to keep track of, weren't there?" Anyway, I was thinking what you were too...that Harris was texting to see if things were still on with The Lawyer. I probably heard from him in November, so it's possible that he wanted to see where things stood now. As The Lawyer said, "I don't think he actually believes that you're so desperate for friends that you're going to start text messaging with some stranger." Indeed.
I just came across your blog a few weeks ago and had to comment on this one! I agree that somehow people just know you're off the market; it is very strange and I've experiences weird things, like what you mentioned, too. My experience lately: guys who I thought we always just friends, disappeared when they found out I was actually in a relationship, after 4 years of not having been in one. That was really interesting to me - and frustrating! Not because I wanted to date them but because it seems maybe they had a different agenda than just being friends with me. Disappointing.
"I was just trying to be friendly" is manspeak for "I am doing my best to steal you away" - usually by men who are so full of themselves that they never take no for an answer.....the type you Run-Toto-Run from.
I wouldn't rethink it even for another nano-second....!
But, once again, it makes for a great story!
amylbo- Hello! Thank you for reading! One of my med. school friends told me the same thing...that after she started dating her now husband, several church friends were all, "I was going to ask her out." Her response was, "Really? Because I was single for four years before meeting my husband." Guys are so weird...just want what they can't have, it seems.
CC- Yeah, I don't know what he was trying to pull, but I will obviously not be responding to his texts anymore, since I know that I've told him at least twice that I'm not interested and have a boyfriend.
They know.
I was in the grocery store filling my birth control prescription and I must have been checked out 6 times. I think we smell different or something :)
Kinda creepy, but just as in great literature--the triangle is wayyy more interesting. (Love triangle, I mean.)
Ah, Facebook and relationships. I still haven't put my relationship on Facebook (a year and a half in) because I don't want to deal with a bunch of guys who want to catch up. Ahem, I mean, "catch up." What is appealing about a girl who's taken??
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