The Definition

“You know, at some point, we’re going to need to have a proper first kiss.  I’m tired of seeing you and not being able to kiss you.”

I was standing in the foyer of The Lawyer’s condo on Saturday night, when he made the declaration.

I was meeting my friend, Cara, for dinner a few blocks away.  Knowing that I’d blown him off for Friday dinner and Sunday brunch, I had driven into the city early to hang with him beforehand.

He had mapped the location of the restaurant for me, and offered to walk me over when I was ready.  We were on our way out the door when he said it.

 “Ha!,” I awkwardly laughed.  “Well, don’t do it now!  Wait until the moment is right.  I don’t want to kiss you right now, in your foyer, just because you just said that.”

The Lawyer gave me the half-grin, half-smirk that I’m learning to expect as a mischievous response to my outbursts.  As we waited for the elevator, though, it occurred to me that the situation needed further commentary.

“What do you mean you’re tired of not being able to kiss me ‘every time you see me?’  You’ve only seen me…twice…since last weekend,” I pointed out.

Granted, The Lawyer had driven me out a cupcake in Virginia this week, and now, I was visiting with him on Saturday.  Before that, though, there was a single brunch date after over a month of not seeing each other in person.  We've seen each other a total of four times, since reuniting after 11 years.  What exactly was he talking about?

Things seemed to be moving…fast…and I asked him something that I probably shouldn’t have.  I don’t want to project hurt that he doesn't feel, especially considering how I felt after ending things with Rich, but is he really OK?  I wanted to know what his therapist had said about his interest in me.

“She’s been telling me since late July/early August that she thinks that I should start seeing people again,” he said.  “She also doesn’t think that there’s a such thing as rebound relationships.  She married the first person that she started dating after her own divorce,” he followed with.  “She says that you sound awesome.”

After he dropped me off at the restaurant, I received a series of text messages for the rest of the night—our usual pattern.  Then, there was the email today.

So I hadn't officially told [two friends]  that I was seeing you because I wasn't sure if you wanted that kind of attention.  I planned to talk about it today, but before I could even say anything, [female friend] goes "ok, what's going on?  I think you're seeing someone.  Something has changed, I can tell.  What is her name?  When do I meet her?

I panicked momentarily.

Were we officially “seeing each other?”  When did that happen?  Did I cross the line from compulsive emailing during study breaks to signing myself up for a relationship?

I sent an email response, asking as much.

The situation with Marcus is also a little bit…fresh...in my mind.  What if The Lawyer also can’t handle my busyness?

I ended the email by saying, “I’m not the kind of person who asks for definitions, but I need a definition.  And, a conversation.”

Updates to follow.

UPDATE:  The official definition:  "This is my friend, [The Lawyer/Red Stethoscope].  I really like him/her."  Perhaps not as exciting as you were hoping for, but he apologized for stressing me out and said that he'd be more than happy with maintaining the status quo (we'll see if that's true).  Also, no kissing.