The first time that Ken friended me on Facebook this summer, I accepted the invitation.
As part of the Summer of Poor Judgment and Bad Decision-Making (which has seemingly stretched into the fall...awesome), he was a random makeout buddy that I met in St. Vincent. He was nice enough, but as per anyone that I met in a foreign country this summer, he kind of new that I was that jaded American girl, traveling and researching, and celebrating my freedom from a controlling ex-fiance.
So, I accepted his friend request and the nonsense started.
Two days after I left St. Vincent, I got the most ridiculous FB message when I was visiting friends in Barbados. His message was hostile and inappropriate. He was angry that I was "ignoring him" and while I have since deleted the message, it said something about me not having enough respect to even call "the man who is so much in love with you."
I was totally floored.
I wrote a heated message back, essentially telling him to STEP BACK. He might have been showering me with declarations of "love," but I didn't know what part of, "I am traveling, I do not have access to internet, and I will not be calling you," he could not understand.
He apologized, but his remorse was brief. When I got back to the US, he would call and message constantly. When I wouldn't respond, or would briefly respond, he would send inappropriate messages about how I was "heartless" and "full of sh*t."
So, I blocked his friendship on Facebook. Obviously.
I don't tolerate verbal abuse from boyfriends, much less from random semi-strangers in other countries. You would think that by now, months later, Ken would have moved on. But, no.
Instead, he started three different Facebook accounts and proceeded to send me friend requests for each of them. I declined the friendships, but apparently, you can still message a person, if they're not blocked. Ken figured this out, and the messages began again last week.
The latest one, last night, said this:
may i ask why you dont talk to me ,i did nothing wrong an i already forgive you an move on am sure we can always be friends ,hope you doing ok an keeping well
Is he kidding me?
He "forgives me?" For what? He's the one who resorted to verbal abuse and putting me down when he didn't get his way. And, to clarify, internet, I hung out with him for four days in June and early July. Four days. This wasn't some sort of ongoing, lifelong communication. This was four days, in between travels to the Dominican Republic, Barbados, and then, back to the Dominican Republic again.
As for him "doing nothing wrong," he seems to have very little memory of flipping out when I wasn't answering my phone or returning his messages. (See: Checking voicemail in Miami, after returning from my second trip to the Dominican Republic, and hearing a series of messages from him, either screaming or crying, about why I wasn't answering my phone. Perhaps I wasn't answering my phone, because I was in another country.)
So, I now have four different Facebook accounts blocked--all of them for his various online identities. I'm not blocking him because I think that he's actually dangerous. I'm blocking him because, although I have plenty of time for fun texting distractions, I have precious little patience for passive-aggressive, ridiculous Facebook messages.
(Also, let this be your cautionary tale about "carefree" summer flings, internet.)